Things I Hate To Admit
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
  I've Got A New Winter Olympic Sport...
... It's called "Broom-Hoist."

The setup:
  • Get a standard wood-handled broom. A regular broom, not the push kind.
  • Stand in about ten inches of nice, soft snow below a satellite dish mounted on the roof of a cabin.
  • Hold the end of the broom handle, bristles skyward.
    The goal:
  • Jumping up and down in place, use the broom to knock the accumulated snow out of the dish and off the 'bulb' in the fewest number of tries, while the wind and continued precipitation chucks ice water and lumps of snow off a 100-year-old, 120-foot-tall cedar tree directly above you. Extra 'style' points are gained for bizarre contortions in dodging getting hit in the face by the cedar tree's onslaught.

    I'm pretty sure I could be a contender; doing some intel on the Scandinavian teams is in order... Although those bastards probably have the snazzy heated disks and don't get the practice I do, so I could bring home the gold.
  • Comments:
    . . . well, I got here by way of with the key phrase "Lenny Bruce" . . .

    Please return to this e.mail, after perusing the promised photo of Lenny Bruce. The photo can be brought up by clicking on the hyperlink just below:

    click here first ===> Lenny Bruce frisked

    or cut and paste the following u.r.l:

    And thank you for returning.

    As the old bromide goes, "it ain't braggin', ef'fen you can do it."

    First off, I must acknowledge that none of the academic institutions I attended ever awarded me a degree in aesthetic photography. Nonetheless, I want to elucidate the structures that infuse that photo with such power.

    In the upper left hand corner, the eye spots the cop's badge. Seemingly, it furnishes the illumination for Lenny's wry face. In the lower right hand corner, his left hand is shown "bleeding" off the picture. Unprompted, the eye is impelled to regard those three points of interest as vertices of a triangle. By the way, even as geometry, a triangle confers intense power.

    The three silvery buttons on the cop's sleeve, in the parlance of painters, "answer" the dark button on Lenny's jacket. Between those two points of interest, the eye is impelled to draw a line. Here's the thing. That line crosses a side of the aforementioned triangle, forming an "X", squarely centered on Lenny.

    . . . nobody should be surprised, when this photo starts showing on kids' tee shirts.

    Oh, by the bye, this is something I was told by a couple guys, who make their living as advertising illustrators. The attitude of Lenny's illuminated face with his outstretched arms is reminiscent of Renaissance crucifixion paintings.

    . . . oh, alright (!) already, maybe I did take the scenic route to get to the hyperlink I'm hoping you'll click on next. My only defense, I was advised to provide the reader with some credentials.

    Anyway, here's that second hyperlink


    Hello I just entered before I have to leave to the airport, it's been very nice to meet you, if you want here is the site I told you about where I type some stuff and make good money (I work from home): here it is
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    The pen may be mightier than the sword, but sarcasm is mightier than the shotgun. It's easier to get on an airplane, too.

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    Location: Western Sierra Nevada Mtns., California, United States

    Okay, I'm not really the ghost of Lenny Bruce. I'm not even Jewish... Although I think my mother was Jewish in a past life; boy could that woman throw a guilt complex. Second-generation California native... Y'know, a descendent of Depression-era hillbilly white trash. I survived a Reagan-era adolescence, thanks to books, punk rock, and Monty Python. Remember Spicoli from "Fast Times at Ridgemont High"? I went to high school with his little brother. Escaped San Diego for the SF Bay Area in 1989; rode out the Loma Prieta quake in a bsmt. apt. in Berkeley. I'm a rabid defender of the 2nd Amendment who promotes socialized medicine and considers police jurisdictions (excluding the CHP) to be tax-funded street gangs and has written in musician/recording engineer Steve Albini for President in the last two elections. I split my votes between Green Party and Libertarian candidates. Treating the event with the dignity it deserved, I voted in the CA recall election wearing full clown makeup and wig. A socio-political schitzophrenic? Oh yes I'm not!

    February 2006 / March 2006 /

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