Things I Hate To Admit
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
  I've Got A New Winter Olympic Sport...
... It's called "Broom-Hoist."

The setup:
  • Get a standard wood-handled broom. A regular broom, not the push kind.
  • Stand in about ten inches of nice, soft snow below a satellite dish mounted on the roof of a cabin.
  • Hold the end of the broom handle, bristles skyward.
    The goal:
  • Jumping up and down in place, use the broom to knock the accumulated snow out of the dish and off the 'bulb' in the fewest number of tries, while the wind and continued precipitation chucks ice water and lumps of snow off a 100-year-old, 120-foot-tall cedar tree directly above you. Extra 'style' points are gained for bizarre contortions in dodging getting hit in the face by the cedar tree's onslaught.

    I'm pretty sure I could be a contender; doing some intel on the Scandinavian teams is in order... Although those bastards probably have the snazzy heated disks and don't get the practice I do, so I could bring home the gold.
     
  • The pen may be mightier than the sword, but sarcasm is mightier than the shotgun. It's easier to get on an airplane, too.

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    Name:
    Location: Western Sierra Nevada Mtns., California, United States

    Okay, I'm not really the ghost of Lenny Bruce. I'm not even Jewish... Although I think my mother was Jewish in a past life; boy could that woman throw a guilt complex. Second-generation California native... Y'know, a descendent of Depression-era hillbilly white trash. I survived a Reagan-era adolescence, thanks to books, punk rock, and Monty Python. Remember Spicoli from "Fast Times at Ridgemont High"? I went to high school with his little brother. Escaped San Diego for the SF Bay Area in 1989; rode out the Loma Prieta quake in a bsmt. apt. in Berkeley. I'm a rabid defender of the 2nd Amendment who promotes socialized medicine and considers police jurisdictions (excluding the CHP) to be tax-funded street gangs and has written in musician/recording engineer Steve Albini for President in the last two elections. I split my votes between Green Party and Libertarian candidates. Treating the event with the dignity it deserved, I voted in the CA recall election wearing full clown makeup and wig. A socio-political schitzophrenic? Oh yes I'm not!

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